Kitty Kurse
by c0rin
Summary: Nekozawa's curse turned our poor Tono into a baby...What's Kyouya to do?
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Hi! Got the **idea** from about a million and one Neji/Ten fics in the Naruto section. But I promise the **plot** is quite different! I might as well warn you that this is a stupid story. You won't be in any way enlightened about any facts of life.

---

Disclaimer: I do not own Ouran.

---

"Get off my lap."

"But Okaasan! There's something under my bed! Let me sleep here!" Tamaki wailed, his right hand hanging on his friends' neck like a monkey, his left, carrying his surly-looking Beary.

"Get off my lap before I decide to kill you." The shadow king said coolly.

"Kyou-ya! Please? Mon ami, my dearest friend, the mother of my beautiful children, let daddy sleep with here with you."

The brunet stood up, Tamaki's butt hit the marble floor.

"Ow!" he cried, rubbing his injured pride, "Why did we have to sleep at Nekozawa's house? We could have used your rest house."

"Because it's under renovation. It was your idea to go into a ski trip and he offered his place for us to stay. Deal with it. Get back to your room, I'm going to sleep." Kyouya replied, glaring at their host club president.

Tamaki stood in the middle of the room, wearing his blue pajamas and hugging his beloved bear. He looked like a lost kid.

He sighed. Adjusted his glasses, "Fine. If I check under your bed and find nothing will you leave me alone?"

The blond nodded.

Kyouya opened his door and walked towards Tamaki's room while his friend followed him. He went inside the dark room and switch on the lights. Then went down on all fours and checked under the bed.

"There. Nothing. I'm going now. Goodnight."

"Kyouya!" Tamaki grabbed his friends' pajama top. "Don't leave me! Belzeneff might appear." He whined.

"I doubt Belzeneff will take an interest in you. Go to sleep." He answered while he tried (unsuccessfully) to pry Tamaki's hands (fists) off his gray top.

"But I don't want to sleep alone! He's just waiting for me to sleep and when I do he'll steal Beary!"

The shadow king closed his eyes and asked the powers that be for patience. "Tamaki, please stop talking nonsense and go to sleep, we need to wake up at 5 AM tomorrow and it's now-" He checked his watch, "11:47 PM"

"Kyouya! At least sleep beside me!" The blond suddenly hugged him. His arms wrapped around the brunet's midriff and buried his head on Kyouya's neck. "Stay here! I don't want to be alone in this room!"

"Get off me!" He growled.

"I'll be good! I promise! Please stay, for Beary's sake!"

"For the last time, your angry bear will not interest Nekozawa or Belzeneff or anyone!"

"But I want to sleep with you." Tamaki murmured to his neck.

"What?" Kyouya asked, not quite sure if what he heard was as perverted as it sounds.

"I want to sleep beside you!"

"Well, I prefer to sleep alone, so goodnight." He replied and turned to leave.

---

"Suoh-kun?" Tamaki heard someone call his name. He covered his entire body with the blanket. _"There's nothing here. Nothing."_

"Suoh-kun" He heard it again. The blond buried his face on his pillow and covered his ears.

"Suoh-kun…" The way his name was pronounced reminded Tamaki of someone playing hide and seek. He threw the covers and ran straight to the door and down the corridors where Kyouya's room should be. He entered one of the bedrooms.

Inside was the biggest collection of stuffed cats he had ever seen. The entire room were full of shelves and shelves of all kinds of cats, in the middle was a big altar decorated with gold cat figurines. Tamaki cowered in the corner, too afraid to move but too curious to stay put. He approached the table. In the middle was a circle dish filled with what anyone can see as blood. He recoiled in fear.

"_What…Did Neko-senpai kill all these animals?"_ he thought as he blindly ran out of the room and hit someone.

"Suoh-kun. What are you doing in the sacred room?" Nekozawa-senpai asked, looking horrified to find him there.

Tamaki hid behind the black robed guy, "Why do you have an entire room of cats?" he asked fearfully, "Do normal people kill cats?"

"You should not have entered this room." Nekozawa wheezed as he pulled Tamaki outside and carefully closed the door. "Only a true Nekozawa is allowed to be inside. No one other than us have ever set foot inside that room." He explained.

"Why?" The blond asked, still shivering from fright.

Nekozawa removed his black wig and signaled for Tamaki to follow him, they went to Nekozawa's room. The blond waited while his senpai lit the 13 candles situated near the vanity mirror.

"That room…is cursed." He started, "My grandfather told me to never let anyone other than a Nekozawa enter that room, those who did will suffer from a curse."

"Cu..cu…curse?" The Host Club King squeaked. "Ho..ho..how?"

"We never learned, we never saw them again."

"Nani?!!"

"But Otoosan told me it could just be a rumor of course, one was found dead but it might not be related. Right Belzeneff?" Umehito looked at the yellow puppet. Belzeneff gave a nod.

Tamaki looked as if he was about to cry, Nekozawa moved the puppet closer to the blonds' face.

"You have to be careful. You might be cursed." His senpai advised.

"AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" The Host club King screamed and ran all the way to Kyouya's room.

---

"GET THE HELL OFF ME!!!" The Shadow King kicked his idiotic friend off the bed. Tamaki landed on his stomach and woke him. "What on earth are you doing?" he shouted, resisting the urge to stab the blond to death and return to sleep. "It's One in the morning and you're running around waking people up?!"

"Kyouya!!! I'm cursed!!!" Tamaki sobbed on the brunet's stomach. "Nekozawa-senpai said I'm going to die!!!"

Kyouya pushed him, "For God's sakes, don't ruin my pajamas with your tears! And calm down, what cock and bull story have you been swallowing?"

"I went inside a room, killed cats! Blood! Shelves and shelves! Senpai said I'm dying!" The blond idiot explained incoherently. "I want to sleep here!"

"Let me get this straight. You went inside a room and killed cats?" The brunet asked calmly. "And you're not sleeping here."

"No! I went inside a room with dead cats!"

"Dead cats accompanied you inside a room?"

"Suoh-kun entered our sacred feline room. No one who is not a Nekozawa is allowed to enter there. It is said that the room curses anyone who trespass." Their senpai interrupted.

"I'm going to dieeee!!!"

"Don't be stupid. Gentlemen, I don't know what games you're playing and frankly, I'm not interested, if you would please get out of my room so that I could sleep?"

"Pleasant dreams, Ohtori-kun." Umehito Nekozawa said before leaving.

Kyouya looked at Tamaki who sat in the corner of his bed, hugging his knees.

"I don't want to sleep alone." He told the Shadow King tearfully. "Belzeneff might kill me."

The brunet rolled his eyes heavenward. "Fine. Sleep on that side." He said, throwing the blond a pillow, "Don't even attempt to come within 20 inches of me, or I'll be the one who kills you."

"Hai! I promise." Tamaki immediately lay down on the other side of Kyouya's bed and hugged the pillow. "Night mommy."

"Goodnight."

---

He blinked. He was seeing things, Kyouya was sure of it.

He woke up beside a little boy who, strangely enough, looks a lot like a baby version of Tamaki Suoh. The brunet nudged the boy awake.

"Mommy?" The kid opened his lavender eyes.

The Shadow King peered at the child. _"This can't be Tamaki."_

"Koya?"

"Tamaki?!"

---

"What have you done to him?" Kyouya gritted his teeth, carrying the child in his arms, he barged inside Nekozawa's chambers. "Why is our club president a baby?!"

The feline lover turned pale, "So it's true? The room is really cursed?"

"Return him to his normal form now!" The Ohtori heir demanded. "Who do you think will look after him?"

Nekozawa examined the child who started crying when he saw him and Belzeneff, baby Tamaki struggled to wrap his arms around the Shadow king's neck.

"Nii-chan! Kowaii!" He blubbered, "Kowaii!"

Kyouya pried the chubby arms suffocating him, "Hold still, I'm trying to find a way to get you back."

"You can't have him back." Neko-san stated. "Not until it's time."

"What are you talking about?!"

"Well, I've been told that the effects of the curse lasts a week. At least, that's what I know. I can't really confirm it since no one I know had ever been cursed. This is my first curse." Neko-san explained.

"Are you telling me that Tamaki will stay as a 3 year old child for a week?!" the brunet shouted, feeling completely harassed.

"Hai." Belzeneff answered for him.

"Then what will I do with this kid?!"

"He can stay with you for a while."

"I am not taking care of Tamaki! This is your curse, you deal with it." He said and left the baby in Nekozawa's arms.

---

"Senpai." Hikaru started.

"What is that?" Kaoru asked.

"Who is that?" Haruhi said.

"He looks a lot like Tama-chan!" Huni exclaimed happily.

"Ah." Mori added.

Kyouya rubbed his temples, this has to be the most stupid thing that ever happened to him. Tamaki's baby version had made Nekozawa's life hell. He did nothing but cry and declare how scary "Kitty onii-chan" was. In the end, Kyouya had to take the baby since Tamaki had started chewing on their senpai's wig. Not to mention hit Kirimi with about a dozen Belzeneff-looking dolls.

So far this day, Baby Tamaki had pooped on the shadow king's homework, ate Kyouya's lunch and puked all over the brunet's expensive shoes. His patience was being sorely tested. The Chairman had been leaving him messages looking for his "idiotic son." He still wasn't able to return the call.

"_Look on the bright side, 5 days more to go." _He thought, then faced the Host club members who were eyeing Tamaki with interest, the twins even started taking pictures.

"Tamaki won't be with us for a while. He's in France and I have no clear idea of what he is doing there. And I don't really care." He explained.

"So? Who is that?" Kaoru pointed to Baby Tamaki who was now toddling toward Haruhi.

"Tama—" he started but was able to stop himself on time.

"Tama?" the Host Club chorused.

"Home." Kyouya continued.

"Tamahome?" Haruhi asked, looking at the child who was now tugging on her pants. She raised him. "You're quite cute aren't you?"

"Let's call him baby Tama-chan since he looks like Tama-chan and Tama-chan is not here!" Huni explained excitedly.

"Ah, baby Tama-chan."

"But You still didn't answer our question." Hikaru said.

"Who is he?" Kaoru added.

"My cousin." Kyouya didn't explain.

"You have a cousin who looks a lot like Tamaki-senpai?" Haruhi looked confused.

The Shadow King gave an amiable smile, scaring everyone. "Is that a problem?" he asked them all rather calmly.

"No!" The natural rookie immediately denied.

"Iie Kyou-chan!"

"Ah."

"It's cool. Absolutely!" Hikaru and Kaoru.

---

Haruhi watched baby Tama-chan play with the toys Kyouya brought with him. "He really looks a lot like Tamaki-senpai doesn't he?" she asked the twins.

"Cuter."

"10 times cuter."

They watched the kid.

"Is it okay to let Kyouya-senpai take care of a kid?' Kaoru asked his brother.

The baby crawled to where the Shadow King was and tried to climb on the brunet's lap.

"I don't know."

They watched Kyouya try to stand. The baby clung to him.

"He also acts a lot like Tono." Hikaru added.

"Hai." Haruhi smiled. "Then they will get along just fine then."

---

The Shadow King closed his eyes. When the real Tamaki returned. He was really going to kill him.

"Onii-chan. Beary?" Baby Tamaki asked, looking for his bear.

Kyouya felt like crying. This was not going well.

---

A/N: Anybody who can think of a suitable title?


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Thanks to ms. Danni for the title! And yes, I know I have so much baby fics, I'm obsessing over chibi's for some time now. This is honestly a pointless fic, not intended to be anything more.

---

"No, No Tamaki. No kiss." Kyouya Ohtori gritted his teeth, he turned away from the baby beside him on the bed.

"Kiss!" The blond-haired baby demanded. Poking the shadow king's back.

"I said no." He repeated, feeling redundant. The baby fell silent. Kyouya let out the breath he was holding. This baby was too much trouble than his teenage counterpart. He suddenly found himself wishing that it was the teenage Tamaki beside him now instead of this baby. Baby Tama-chan was cute. Just…draining.

He told Tamaki's father that his son was currently in China and will be staying for a few days because of his research for a school paper, thankfully, the word of an Ohtori is enough to convinced the Ouran Chairman that he didn't anymore question his son's sudden leave. Or maybe he's just used to his son's impetuous nature that he took it in stride.

As for Nekozawa-senpai, Kyouya had asked him, (threatened) to find a cure for Tamaki's "little" problem so that things will return to normal and the shadow king can now return to his normal schedule, as it is, Tama-chan was wreaking havoc in Kyouya's life.

The past three days, baby Tamaki stuck to Kyouya like glue, crying everytime someone would take him away from his beloved "nii-chan." The baby sitters he had hired were pretty much useless, their only work is to feed and dressed the baby, and put him to sleep. Unfortunately for Kyouya, the blond won't sleep if he's not beside him. Which is why, it was already 11 in the evening and the baby was demanding a goodnight kiss and the brunet was being harassed.

He felt the ochibi snuggled closer to his back. Kyouya sighed and inched away, Tamaki once again moved closer to him. He faced the kid.

"Tamaki, if you inch any closer, I'll crush you to pieces when I move in my sleep." He told the blond.

"Warm." The toddler answered, his lavender eyes smiling at the shadow king.

Kyouya sighed. He wondered why these things happen to him.

He lifted that baby and moved him to his side of the bed, surrounded him with pillows and covered his little body with the blanket they shared.

"There. It's not cold anymore." He said.

Tamaki rolled toward him like a dog. He hit Kyouya's stomach.

"No. Tamaki," he sat up and faced the child, "You stay on your side, and I stay on my side okay?"

"But not warm!" he answered, he climbed on the brunet's lap.

The shadow king tried to push him away but the baby wrapped his arms on Kyouya's neck and buried his chubby face on his neck. Before the brunet even knew what to do, Tamaki's soft snores reached his ears.

He closed his eyes. "Tamaki, I can't sleep like this!" He tried to wake the baby. The kid rubbed his nose on his neck.

Kyouya sighed and pried the ochibi's hands from his neck and placed him on the bed. The toddler immediately started crying.

"Cold! Don't like cold!" he whimpered rather pitifully, fat tears falling from his smoky lavender eyes and were trailing down his chubby cheeks. Kyouya sighed feeling like the most evil man in the world. (which I'm sure he actually is and he knows it) He obviously doesn't have much of a choice. He lay on his side and covered both of them with the blue blanket before he wrapped his arm around the baby's tender body.

Tamaki snuggled against his chest.

Kyouya was about to close his eyes when:

"Nii-chan?"

"Hmm?" He yawned sleepily.

"Kiss?" Tamaki asked.

The shadow king rubbed his temple before leaning close to his baby friend and pressed a swift kiss on his forehead. "Goodnight."

"Koya?"

"Hai?"

The toddler lifted his bear. "Kuma-chan too!"

---

Kyouya closed his notebook and looked for Tamaki, he spied the child near the Hitachiin twins playing with his building blocks. He watched his little friend for a moment, the baby was arranging them by color, so far, baby Tama-chan has the blue, green and red lined up together in 3 big piles. The shadow king found out yesterday that Tamaki tend to ignore toys which doesn't require him to think, the mini cars and toy soldiers he bought were completely snubbed so Kyouya bought him the blocks and 5 big "assemble your own dinosaur" package.

Tamaki completed all the dinosaurs yesterday. They were now displayed at the foot of Kyouya's bed.

The brunet grinned as the baby wrinkled his forehead before arranging each of the organized colored sets into numbers. Around him, women sigh as he lined the blocks one after the other. Kyouya heard one girl saying she wanted to have a child like him. _"Well, his IQ is high. It's his EQ that's the problem. Or maybe his mental stabiliy…" _

Haruhi approached him.

"He's quite intelligent isn't he?" She asked him, "Well, as expected from people in your family."

"Yes, he is." He agreed. "Why is everybody doing nothing?"

"Senpai" Hikaru walked toward them, Kaoru followed him. "He's taking our job! Every girl wants to be near him, if tono were here, he's definitely adopt your cousin!"

Kyouya snorted. _"If they only knew"._

"Well, it seems as if we have nothing to do." Huni-senpai exclaimed as he carried his cake and Usa-chan and sat down on a table near them.

"Ah."

A girl approached them carrying the baby. "Ano, senpai, Tama-chan was looking for you." She said shyly. Kyouya gave her his "merit" smile and took the child from her.

"Arigatou." He nodded at her before addressing the other occupants of the room, "Minna-san, it's closing time for the host club, but we will see you again tomorrow at the same time." He announced as Mori-senpai opened the door to let everyone out.

"Bye-bye." Tamaki waved his small hand at the smiling girls who were on their way to leave. Kyouya let him down and Kaoru immediately hugged the baby.

"Kawaii! You're so Kawaii!" He kissed the baby's blond head.

His twin scoffed. "What's so cute about a baby who looks like our baka tono?"

Kaoru smiled, "Don't be jealous, He's cute, but you are handsome. There is no one in this world whose hair can shine like yours, or with eyes are beautiful as your green orbs." He said dramatically.

Haruhi rolled his eyes. "Narcissists." She muttered under her breath. She took the baby form Kaoru and placed him to stand on the table.

"Did you have fun today?" She smiled at him and marveled at how _cute_ this particular baby was. _"He even smiles like tono."_

"Arhi?" Baby tama-chan called her name.

"Hai?" She answered, straightening the baby's light blue shirt and jumper.

"Kiss?" He requested, offering his cheek.

Haruhi smiled and gave his nose a smack.

He turned to face the shadow king. "Koya kiss?"

"No. No kiss." The brunet answered.

"Kiss!"

"We've been through this before. No kiss." He gritted his teeth in annoyance.

The natural rookie smirked. "Senpai, he's just a kid. All kids love kisses."

"Sou desu ne Kyou-chan! Babies love kisses."

"Hai!" Kaoru agreed, "According to research, kisses make children feel love. You don't want him to develop a personality complex do you?"

"He already has a personality complex." Kyouya answered them all dangerously. Only Tamaki and Mori looked unruffled.

The blond toddler sat down on the table and started crawling to the side. The shadow king noticed that he looked dispirited. He rolled his eyes.

"Tama-chan," he called, "Let's go, I'll buy you a piano."

"Piano?" Everyone chorused.

"What for?" Hikaru.

"Isn't he too young?" Haruhi asked.

"Sound?" Tama-chan interfered. His lavender eyes looking seriously at the shadow king. "Play?"

"Hai. Play."

"With Nii-chan?" he asked.

"Yes, I'm coming with you."

"Boy, he likes The shadow king a lot doesn't he?" Hikaru whispered to Haruhi. She gave a small smile, "Because he's so much like Tamaki-senpai. I guess they're well suited." She turned to the baby and lifted him on his armpit and moved him in front of their vice-president.

Kyouya moved to take the baby when Tamaki leaned forward and dropped a kiss on the brunet's nose.

"Nii-chan daisuki!" he announced happily.

"Aww." The Hitachiins sniffed on their hankies. "Poor, poor, poor child. He doesn't understand the horrors."

"Tama-chan loves Kyou-chan!"

"Ah!"

"Hohohohoho!" A high powered motor machine appeared in the middle of the 3rd music room floor to reveal its cosplay loving owner. "A baby boy in love with a man years older than him, this would make a great addition to our weekly journal. Forbidden pedophilic love!"

Haruhi felt like crying from the absurdity of it all.

The shadow king blinked. And resisted the sudden insane urge to snatch the baby from Haruhi's arms and keep Tamaki for himself. Screw Renge and her delusions.

"Am I interrupting something?" A dignified voice from the doorway interrupted.

Baby Tama-chan perked, **"Toosan!"**


	3. Chapter 3

"Otoosan?" The Ouran chairman looked at the baby Kyouya was carrying. He blinked then grinned.

"What a cute baby! So beautiful! Reminds me of Tamaki when he was a child."

The others greeted him.

Kyouya hugged Tamaki closer to his chest almost possessively. The baby was extending his arms to his "real" father, wishing to be held, he can't afford to give the chairman ideas.

"What can we do for you?" he formally asked the baby's father.

"Ah, Well, my idiotic son hasn't called me in 2 days. I'm wondering if he calls you." He told Kyouya.

The shadow king gave a small smile. "As a matter of fact. He did." He lied smoothly. "According to him, he was trying to call your office but the line was busy. So he called me instead."

"Sou ka, Yes, we have been busy these past few days. It's the holiday season you see." Yuzuru Suoh smiled as the baby tried to reach for him.

"Tamki!" The baby exclaimed pointing to himself.

"Are? He thinks he's Tono?" one of the twins asked.

"No." Kyouya said dangerously, "He knows he looks like Tamaki. He's been told often enough by the rest of you."

"Sou ka." Huni-senpai nodded. "He does look so much like Tama-chan!"

"Ah."

"Who is he?" The Ouran chairman asked Kyouya.

"A son of a relative visiting our family." He answered ambiguously.

"Was Tamaki able to meet him?"

"Unfortunately, no."

"I see." The chairman touched the baby's blond head. Tamaki smiled happily. "Well, I have a meeting so I will go. Go home safely." He told them all before leaving. The kid pouted his lips.

"Toosan gone?" he asked, his lavender eyes watching Kyouya sadly.

"No. He's at home." Careful to make everyone believe his story.

"Senpai." Haruhi called him.

"Hai?"

"May I go now?"

"No. You're accompanying us to the music store."

"Nani?! I know nothing about piano."

"What?! We want to go to!" The twins chorused.

"Us too! Ne, Takashi?"

"Ah."

"That is of course, alright with me, but it would be an inconvenience to the store owner as monsieur Frank only receives two guests at a time." He told them all, glasses glinting almost sadistically in the room's artificial light.

"ah… Sou ka…" Kaoru said.

"We forgot. Alright then, we'll go home now."

"Hai." Huni added.

"Who is monsieur Frank?" Haruhi asked no one in particular.

"Piano maker." Mori said.

She stared. "A piano maker?! Is there such a thing?"

"Of course there is! Who do you think makes the piano? Carpenters?" Hikaru laughed at her.

"There are piano makers?" she asked.

"Like there are violin makers." Kyouya answered.

"Don't worry about it Haru-chan. You'll learn more when you get there." Huni told her.

"Hai."

---

She eyed the place. She didn't even know such a shop existed; it was in the high-end part of the city almost covered by trees. She would never have noticed it. She hugged the baby who clung to her neck.

He was so soft and cuddly.

"_Why was she here anyway?"_

Right.

Kyouya needed a baby sitter while he talked with the maker.

Damn rich bastards.

Someone was talking to her. "huh?" she faced an old. Surly looking man.

"Is this the child?" he asked her.

"Uh.. hai."

The man faced Kyouya; "It'll be ready by tomorrow."

"Hai. Arigatou." The shadow king said as he led them outside into the snow. "Let me take you home." He addressed Haruhi.

"That's alright senpai. You can just drop me off on a bus stop."

"Your father will be worried." He answered.

"Hai. Okay. I guess I have no choice."

Kyouya took the baby from her and placed him on the car seat. "He'll be fine there."

"Nii-chan?" Baby Tama-chan called him.

He sighed. "Hai?"

"Ramen?" He said as he pointed to a little supermarket near Haruhi's apartment.

"No. You're eating at home." He told the child.

Tamaki faced Haruhi. "Ramen?"

She faced Kyouya.

"No Ramen Tamahome." The shadow king said again.

He kicked his little feet. "Ramen!"

Haruhi took pity on the child, "Can we just buy him ramen? Maybe he really wants one." She told Kyouya, "And I need to do the grocery also."

Kyouya sighed. "Fine," he said as he instructed the driver to pass by the grocery.

---

Haruhi placed the baby on the front of the grocery cart. "Are you alright there?" she asked,

He nodded cutely, his blond hair falling over his eyes. "Hai."

She brushed it away then faced Kyouya who was looking through stacks and stacks of instant noodles.

"Which is healthier?" he asked her, referring to two brands he was looking at.

"Senpai. I really wouldn't know, but we can get him chicken flavored."

"He likes beef." He answered her automatically.

Haruhi looked at the baby suspiciously. "Senpai," she addressed the question to him, "Are you sure he isn't related to Tamaki-senpai? Tamaki-senpai also likes beef."

The shadow king faced her, "I didn't think you noticed."

She looked away, but not before Kyouya saw her blush. _"Where's my notebook when I need it?"_

"It's what he asks me to buy."

"If you say so."

"Arhi?" the baby interrupted them. "Beef!"

"Hai. Hai. Beef." She said, taking one brown colored instant bowl and handed it to the baby. Tamaki hugged it to his chest.

"Ramen!"

"I should tell your father to feed you more healthy food." Kyouya told the baby.

"Senpai, why don't you have dinner in our house? Otoo-san cooked nabe because it's so cold. That's healthy isn't it?"

"Nabe!"

Kyouya smiled at the kid. "I guess I have no choice."

---

Ranka-san eyed the blond baby Kyouya was holding and immediately pushed Haruhi behind him.

"That..That Devil! That monster spawned a child! Haruhi! My beloved daughter! Don't come within 10 feet of that Gigolo!!" He shouted referring to their Host Club King. "For all we know, he deflowered millions of women and now have 700 children! My poor poor poor daughter, do not fall for his charms, that club king of yours is a walking genital!! My Haruhi, please tell me he hasn't violated your sacred virtue. He hasn't touched you has he? Your beauty remains intact. Haruhi! Tell daddy that you're still a woman of pure innocence."

Haruhi rolled her eyes as her father glomped her and sobbed pathetically on her shoulder. "My daughter has been deflowered!"

"That's disgusting dad. They're staying for dinner."

Ranka-san peered at the baby. "The apple does not fall far from the tree."

Tama-chan closed his hand on a lock of Ranka's red hair. He smiled beautifully at "Arhi's" father.

"Pretty." He looked awed.

Kyouya smirked as the baby was forcefully taken from him and was hugged by the Okama.

"What a sweet child, he has good tastes, nothing like that king of yours. Look at him, doesn't he look handsome. He'll grow up to be such a fine man. What a wonderful, wonderful baby! He was raised so well, What's his name? He's not really related to that bastard king right?! What a cute baby! Look at those lavender eyes! what beautiful pink lips!"

Ranka-san approached his daughter. "Daughter, when will you give daddy a grand son? I'm not getting any younger. Maybe you should find a man and give me lots of grandchildren. I don't mind if you want to get married as long as it's not that Suoh kid! Why don't you marry Kyouya-kun?"

The said daughter took the baby who looked crushed. "Don't kill him dad." She faced Kyouya. "Gomen senpai."

"No harm done. Do you need any help?"

"You can close the door."

---

"What do you mean you have no idea what's going to happen?!" Kyouya gritted his teeth as the person on the other line talked. "Tamaki had better return to his normal state!"

"Ohtori-kun. I couldn't find anything." Nekozawa wheezed. "But I found a book of spells written by my great grandmother. If you want, we can look it up tomorrow after school."

The brunet rubbed his eyes. "Damn it! Fine! Tomorrow evening then. Arigatou." He said before closing his cell. He can't afford to make an enemy out of the Nekozawa's.

He eyed the baby who was sleeping on his bed.

He found out something about the baby. He wasn't a touchy child. Tamaki didn't mind being held by people but he chooses the people he wants to hold.

The shadow king reflected that the teenager Tamaki openly hugs him and Haruhi. Yes, he flirts with woman and kissed their hands, touch their faces, yes, he also chases the twins and put his hands on their necks (if not trying to kill them) and taps the shoulders of his classmates but he never openly hugged any of them.

Hugging was reserved only for him and Haruhi.

_Does that mean they are the two people who means so much to him?_

It seems that despite his very open nature. Tamaki was in fact, reserved.

Kyouya approached his bed and touched the baby's face. _"So soft." _He thought then grinned as Tamaki moved closer to him. _"You like warmth don't you?"_

The child opened his sleepy-looking eyes. "Koya?"

"Hai? Go back to sleep. I have something to do."

"Don't leave." he said.

The brunet furrowed his brow. _"Leave? This is my room."_

"Kaa-san left." He said in that baby voice of his.

Kyouya eyed the child. He seemed to be sleeping. Nevertheless. He answered.

"I won't leave," He said as he moved the bear closer to the boy.

Maybe Tamaki remembers his past.

---

A/N: For those concerned. I have no idea if this is a T/K, T/H, or K/H fic. I'm probably just as confused as you guys are.

Thanks for reading.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: 99 "can't sleep because of too much homework but too lazy to actually do it and so now I decided to write."

---

A pair of lavender eyes greeted him. He blinked. "Nani?"

"Eat!" baby Tamaki exclaimed happily. "Nii-chan! Eat!"

Kyouya sat up and grabbed his alarm clock. "Tamaki, it's three in the morning. You can eat at 6." He answered, getting ready to sleep again. The baby crawled out of his bed and proceeded to the stairs of his bedroom. The shadow king grabbed the blond kid before he hurt himself.

"What on earth are you doing?!"

"Kitchen?" Tamaki answered innocently.

Kyouya glared at him, _"troublesome kid."_

"Fine." He answered as he carried the baby then retrieved his glasses from the night table. "What do you want to eat?"

"Cookie!"

"Tamaki, it's too early for sweets." He replied as they descended down the spiral staircese, which led to the mansion's hallway. The shadow king looked around, trying to figure out something.

"Ice?" Tamaki played with the button on the brunet's pajama. He tried to put it in his mouth.

Kyouya moved the kid away from his top. "Really, are you that hungry? And no ice cream." He eyed the hallway again then gave up. He looked at the kid who looked back at him.

"I don't know where the kitchen is." He admitted.

Tamaki stared at him strangely then pointed to the entry behind the stairs.

The shadow king closed his eyes in understanding. _"That's right, Onee-chan and Tamaki loved mooching commoner food from our kitchen."_ Her sister had commissioned their chef to prepare commoner food once a week especially for them. Of course Tamaki would know where the kitchen is.

He opened the metal door and stared. This was the first time he ever set foot in the Ohtori kitchen. As expected, it had everything a modern, rich household kitchen should have.

He set the ochibi down the kitchen counter. "Stay there or you'll fall. Just tell me what you want." He told the kid while he opened the gigantic fridge and studied the contents. "Do you want salad?" The brunet asked.

"No! Cookie! Nii-chan cookie!" Tamaki shouted, he pointed to a drawer in the counter.

Kyouya eyed him. The walked toward the pantry and opened it.

A Tupperware full of big fat chocolate chip cookies the size of Kyouya's hands.

"_Who eats this stuff?"_ he thought as he turned the Tupperware upside down, looking for a name.

Tamaki Suoh.

"Eh?" he looked at the boy, "You asked our chef to bake you cookies?!" He shook his head, _"Really, can this guy get any more familiar?"_

"Picnic!"

Sou ka. The host club had an "indoor" picnic last week. Which really doesn't explain anything. He didn't notice the cookies at all. Maybe it was forgotten?

Who cares?

Kyouya opened the container and held it out to the baby.

The baby host club king took the biggest cookie.

"_Glutton."_

He watched as the blond kid break the choco chip into two and before Kyouya could understand his intention, Tamaki offered the bigger half to him, his lavender eyes smiling happily at the shadow king.

"Share?"

The brunet took the cookie, "Hai. Arigatou."

He nibbled the chocolate and watched his baby friend bit into his own choco-chip, crumbs cling to his chubby cheek. Kyouya swiped a tissue on the kitchen counter and wiped the chocolate at the side of the baby's face. Then he filled a plastic cup with water and offered it to the child.

"_I can't believe I'm doing this."_ He thought as he watched the baby drink water after eating.

"Bed?"

The shadow king studied him, "Can you speak in sentences?" He asked, the child looked like he was going three years old but Kyouya wasn't sure.

"Hai. Uve you." The baby told him, raising his arms to the brunet and looking sleepy.

Kyouya patted the blond hair and gave a little smile. "Mataku."

---

"HOHOHOHOHOHOHO! I had to reprint 14 times! Everyone wants a copy of Kyouya-sama with Tama-chan!" Renge reported from above her high-powered motor (vehicle?). "This month's issue of Ouran Host Club journal is a major success! Everybody wants Tama-chan!"

"Ah!" Hikaru reacted, "It's all pictures of Tamahome and Kyouya-senpai."

Kaoru looked from behind his brother. "Sou desu ne! What about us?"

"It's a special edition! You must not get in the way of pedophilic love!" Renge explained while dancing around her high-rise platform. "MOE!! MOE! MOEEEEEE!!!!"

"Takashi. Is Kyou-chan a pedophile?" Haninozuka Mitzukuni faced his cousin.

"…"

"Yare yare."

Kyouya skimmed through the magazine. The cover was of him with Tamaki kissing him on the nose. The centerfold was something he couldn't remember.

A picture of Tamaki nuzzling his neck, blond hair, in contrast to Kyouya's dark one.

"_How humiliating." _He thought, but reflected on it, _"On the other hand, it sells."_

He raised his head and looked the otaku, "How much was the generated income?"

Renge grinned evilly then declared an amount.

"NANI?!" the Host Club chorused.

Haruhi's eyes widened.

"We can buy a mansion with that!" Kaoru exclaimed.

"And lots and lots of cake! Ne Takashi?"

"Ah."

"Heh. Tono would be miserable. The club's highest income ever and he wasn't the cause! Sugoi Okaasan!" Hikaru declared.

The shadow king smirked. "As expected of Renge-kun."

"Of course! It's a managers job to capture every delicate, wonderful moment of our hosts." She told the brunet, "A 2nd edition is already on the works! It has pictures of Tama-chan crying while Kyouya-sama comforts him!"

"Sou ka." The shadow king answered, secretly dreading the said issue.

"I guess everyone loves this side of you senpai." Haruhi told him.

"What side?"

"The caring, concerned side."

Kyouya gave her the infamous 'merit' smile. "Profit."

Haruhi rolled her eyes. "I should have known."

---

The shadow king watched the baby play with his little piano. Kyouya taught him the Doremi's and a few nursery rhymes. To his credit, Tamaki can now play the entire "Happy birthday" and "Mary had a little lamb" pieces.

"_I need something else to occupy him."_ he looked around. Baby Tama-chan would panic once he realizes the identity of the person they're waiting for.

They were at the Nekozawa-mansion waiting for the cat lover to appear.

Someone opened the door. Kyouya stood up.

"Good evening, Ohtori-kun." A wheezy voice interrupted Tamaki's concert. The baby immediately stopped playing and run to hide behind the shadow king.

"Good evening. Well?" He asked, direct to the point.

Nekozawa smiled at the golden hair and lavender eyes peeking from behind the brunet's pants. "Good evening, Suoh-kun." He greeted, stepping forward and moving Belzeneff in front of the traumatized baby.

Tamaki's chin wobbled. He tightened his hold on Kyouya's pants and looked up to the brunet. "Kitty nii-chan kowaii!" he cried.

"Hai. Hai." Kyouya answered as he raised the boy. Tamaki immediately buried his face on "nii-chan's" chest, refusing to even glance at "kitty nii-chan."

"We're going to soak him in cat blood."


End file.
